God, Hope & Helping Others
Hi, I am not sure if I should have come by a long time ago to write what I am about to write?
The difficulty for me is having a `mental illness` stigma that is not only unjustified but, indeed untrue.
The trying to explain my having had a mental illness for ten years but now free from it is not easy as it argues out every scientific data available to the layman and furthermore has me arguing with so called `experts` who all club together and call me crazy and uneducated but, I now know (via first hand experience) that medical science is both a deliberated evil to dumb down the masses as also a quick easy way to make money ( a lot of money billions in fact) what is more I am able to prove it when given the chance to explain.
In layman`s terms, I never had a mental illness until was diagnosed with depression in 2001, then `manic depression` in 2004- I am now cured, unless I venture into debate with a medical professional, then and only then am I deemed `crazy / uneducated / deluded and stupid`.
Was I depressed? Yes and No, Yes I was unhappy but, not in the way medical science determines `depression` as a disease, treatable by drugs.
Depression is not a disease but, a natural human emotion.
In hindsight I was a young single mother being bullied by an ex and having been raised in care had no family to assist my deteriorating emotional situation. I needed help and a well earned break from my daughters father was all but, my Doctor insisted I was depressed and pushed me pills - 75mg of a potent brain drug said to balance chemicals in my brain.
6 months passed and I felt fine..... another 6 months and I was feeling very low and tired, My Doctor upped the dose to 150mg, within weeks I was contemplating suicide. I asked out right `Are the pills affecting me?` I was told Quote `No, the pills are uppers and would not affect me negatively, you are depressed and the drugs are just outing the underlying cause` unquote.
Trusting the expert I went for several years in and out of psychiatric offices being bullied by the experts (many times I was forced to state I was a manic depressive and in need of medicinal help and, that my being from care I was unable to cope with abandonment from my parents despite knowing this was not true - every time I argued being from care was not an issue I was literally shouted at as being in denial) , my dose upped and at highest being 300mg - I became a zombie like creature with many outbursts of excessive depression.
I knew I wasn`t myself every time I had a breakdown. smashed up my house, cried for hours, refused to leave the house, slept for 36 hrs or more, contemplated suicide, had murderous fantasies, self harmed etc But, believing in my Doctor, I just didn`t understand or work out the drugs were to blame until 2009 when one Doctor (after yet another referral) decided to look into it.
Even when the evidence was presented to the Doctors and psychiatrists who had treated me since 2001, they refused to accept I was not mentally ill nor accept that the drugs had caused me mental (and physical) deterioration.
The brutal medication dose reduction program that requires professional assistance, due to black box warnings of induced psychosis and or suicidal ideation, was ignored, and I had to go it alone (it took me until Feb 2012 to successfully wean off of the drug) - during this time I attacked my daughter via strangulation, I lost a partner due to my psychotic outbursts and spent months unable to feel any emotion (I will explain this in detail at another time, it is by far the worst place I could have ever been and still terrifies me to this day).
My attempts of taking my Doctor to court was quashed when I was told by three different Lawyers, `you only have 3 years in which to make a claim against a medical professional of negligence` and `your Doctor seems as if he was acting in your best interests`.
For two and a half of those years I was in reduction withdrawal and it took yet a further year (approx June 2013) for all symptomatic stresses to subside enough to say `I feel like I am actually getting better` (although my emotional state was indeed in recovery I was still extremely ill physically - I still today have symptomatic physical problems that are proven to be attributed to the offending drugs ).
During my reduction period and ever since I have been researching medication (esp that of brain drugs and the medical profession itself - I will admit it became an obsession and to some extent still is). I have also studied psychology and obtained a level 3 Diploma (July 2013) via open university.
I have come to learn a lot and all is bad, feel free to go research what I tell you, unlike science itself, I encourage everyone to truth seek for their own benefit, I would never demand I am believed just because I said it.
The evidence is out there and in this case you have to look into clinical data, medical journals, patient testimonials and case files not just Google snippets from wikipedia or medical sites because these are very one sided and written by those who are promoting the drugs - real facts and evidence are best sought out by first hand experiences and actual clinical documentations (hidden from view unless you know what to look for - Clinical trial data and archives are the best and most detailed).
. Firstly, regardless of medication and illness supposed to treat, no medicinal trial lasts longer than 12 weeks. . This is an exception because the majority actually only last 6 weeks and it is on the mere 6 weeks study that the conclusion is finalized as `scientific evidence` and shockingly then enough to treat the masses - please note since the introduction of `revamped` mental health medication in the 1980`s the mental health epidemic has increased 6 fold (R Whitaker 2005).
. Anything that goes wrong after 6 weeks is not documented nor accepted as evidence therefore it is not accountable to the drug company nor research team when goes wrong. Furthermore the Doctor is safeguarded on that same principle because he/she was only following that same evidence outcome.
. Secondly, Pharma is a successful and very rich business (one of the richest in the world), and for a successful rich business to remain as successful and rich it needs customers - especially repeat and loyal customers. Disturbingly so - A patient cured is a customer lost.
. No drug in the history of medicinal science has cured anyone of any disease or ailment to date because drugs are merely made to treat symptoms not cure them (all the while creating further side effects / symptoms in the process - that are then also treated as `other ailments`).
. Many argue that anti biotics work wonders - this is a false conclusion, anti biotics do kill disease but not without destruction of the immune system (too much can deteriorate the natural organic make up of the human body - hence only a course being prescribed at any one time and reluctance to over prescribe).
. Furthermore anti biotics are naturally produced chemicals from bacteria and fungi they are not synthetic drugs created in a lab therefore are not in the same category despite pharma`s labeling of them as medication.
. Vaccines are cleverly believed deterrent`s but, there is no hard evidence telling if you would have gotten an ailment without them, What is more they are again naturally bacteria based concoctions and without evidence to prove affectiveness before and if any ailment, this is not scientific proof but just a cleverly based marketing plan that costs the NHS millions each year (remember the NHS is not free, every tax payer pays towards it).
There is so much more to explain and express but, I will leave it here for now. I wish to know if anyone is interested in what I am writing? If so? I will come back with more esp that of the chemical imbalance myth that can be proven as false in a paragraph and lots of evidence to boot.
For now, thank you for taking the time to read.